GIRLS TO COMMENCE TRAINING AT THE NDA
BUT WHO WILL MARRY EX -NDA GIRLS?
Feminists are rejoicing that the girls have been permitted by the Supreme Court to join the National Defence Academy (NDA). About 1,78,000 girls have applied to join this premier Defence Academy. Nearly 75 percent of them appeared for the written entrance examination on 14 Nov 21.
The Chief of the Army Staff, while addressing the
passing out parade at the academy on 29 October remarked that at least 40 years
down the line, a lady might stand in his place to review the NDA passing out
parade. But what he failed to visualise or say was that such a lady officer could
be a spinster or a divorcee or the head of a broken family.
He was trying to make a ‘virtue out of a
necessity’ as the decision to allow the girls to join the academy was forced
down the throat of the defence forces by our ‘all knowing’ Supreme Court judges
in spite of stiff resistance from the Generals. The Court did not
even accede to the demand of the Defence Forces to defer the decision for some
time to allow the academy to prepare the necessary infrastructure to welcome
the girls.
The veteran community wrote extensively against this
ill-thought-out decision and its severe consequences for the forces. But hardly
anyone discussed the issue from the perspective of the girls who are likely to
join the academy in future. Will these girls have a fulfilling domestic life
after becoming officers in the Defence Forces especially after getting trained
for four years in the academies to overcome their emotions and to become battle
hardened to face death?
I commanded an Infantry Battalion at a metropolis. The JCOs and Jawans of the unit had their families in the station and we were extending all facilities to the wards of the soldiers to study in good schools in town and to perform well academically. Most of children of the soldiers did well in the examinations and it was matter of pride for the paltan. We also rewarded meritorious students. In one Sainik Sammelan, I was happy to reward a few girls who had excelled in the Class XII CBSE examination. The father of one the girls, our religious teacher, came to meet me in my office after the awards ceremony to seek guidance for the further education of his daughter. He was very proud of her academic performance and wanted her to join a good college in town. I asked him what kind of future life did he dream of for his daughter. The JCO, who was himself well educated, told me that he had not thought much about the future of his daughter at that moment and presently he was only concerned about her college education. On my request he agreed to come back to me after a couple of days after discussing the matter with his wife.
The JCO came back
to me the next day and told me that he and his wife discussed the matter
in great detail and that he was now ready to answer all my questions. with
slight encouragement from my side, he sketched out an ideal life for his
daughter. He wanted his daughter to marry a well settled boy (preferably one
doing a government job) from a good family of his own caste. He wanted her to
have a happy married life and have two healthy and bright kids who would also
have a salubrious nurturing atmosphere at home and become good citizens of our
country. He agreed that if his daughter got a government job, that of a teacher
or job in any government or public sector office or a well paying job in the
private sector, it would become easy for him to find a suitable match for her.
The parents of the girl were not ready to accept their
daughter marrying out of their caste or staying unmarried for life or having a
love marriage or a live-in relationship. They were sure that the chances of the
girl having a good and fulfilling life were more dependent on her right
marriage rather than on her ability to make lots of money. When I asked him if a
boy of his community would be ready to marry a girl who has studied at a
metropolis and led a comparatively free life, he was sure that the chances of
such a marriage were remote. He was also certain that his daughter might not
even agree to marry a boy from their community after tasting freedom at a
metropolis. Hence the answer to his question about the future education was
obvious and staring him in his face. He sent his family back to his hometown in
Uttar Pradesh and the girl did her education in good college there. She is now
happily married and has two sons.
The anecdote has been narrated to highlight that a good
life for a girl does not consist of a respectable and well paying job only. The
Defence Officers’ job can only guarantee this much. This job also comes with
lots of hardships in terms of long duty hours, disturbed family life, frequent
transfers, hard training which can adversely impact the body of a girl and many
more. Male officers are able to bear these hardships because they have a wife
to look after the children and the family. A lady Defence Officer is not likely
to have such a devoted husband because the lady will not marry an unemployed
good for nothing young man and a good man will certainly like to earn his own
bread.
These days, male Defence Officers find it difficult to
get married. One of my officers’ from Haryana had gone home on leave to
finalise a match for himself. On his return he informed us that his engagement
did not take place. On questioning, he informed us that the engagement was
called off as the girl preferred a Patwari, a fourth class employee over him. If
it is so difficult for male officers to find a suitable match, the chances of
finding a match for an ex- NDA girl are really remote.
Let’s examine who all can be suitable match to marry an
ex- NDA lady officer. We can safely rule out all Group A Services like the IAS,
IFS, IRS as they don’t even consider the Defence services as their peers. Even
the engineers from the MES consider themselves superior to Defence Services Officers.
Since these girls will have transferable jobs no young man serving in the
private sector is likely to consider them as a suitable match because they live
and work in metro cities where the Defence Services have very little presence.
Only the privileged few get a chance to serve in these cities, that too for a
period of around two years. Even teachers or patwaris will avoid marrying them
for same reason. That leaves only the Defence Services Officers. Only the Defence
Services people will muster the guts to marry them. Lady officers will
certainly not marry soldiers from other ranks and the Services will deprecate
such alliances. Thus, the pool of their perspective grooms will be restricted
to Defence Services Officers.
An ex- NDA girl is not likely to marry one of her
juniors in the rank and seniority conscious Defence forces. Even a junior male officer
will not be comfortable to have a senior officer as his wife in his house. Her
coursemates from NDA are not likely to marry a girl of his course as he would
have seen her in various conditions and would not like to expose himself to the
ridicule of his course mates. The ex -NDA officers consider the direct entry officers
and short service commission officers below their level of competence. So, an
ex- NDA girl would not be keen to marry someone from these entries. So that
leaves only ex-NDA officers senior to the ex -NDA girl. The ex- NDA officers generally
want to marry a homely girl as they yearn for a family which they have missed
in their schools and in NDA.
The ex- NDA girl will thus find it difficult to get a
suitable groom. But even if they manage to find a suitable match the marriage
is likely to face rough weather as the ex- NDA girl will be trained for four
years to be a Defence Services Officer devoid of most of the emotions and
skills to bring up young children. She might even be biologically stressed to
bear healthy children. Even if she manages to have children it will be almost
impossible for her to devote the time and shower the kind of love and affection
on her children which they deserve.
The people who have made this decision to allow girls
to join the NDA has been made by the people who have no stake in the system.
They have got cheap popularity through this decision. The judges will never
serve in the Defence forces and their progeny is also not likely to even
consider the Defence forces as a career for themselves. The politicians will
get some votes but will never force their daughters to join NDA. The Generals
who acquiesced to the decision will also be long retired by the time the ex-NDA
girls join the forces and their daughters have already crossed the age of
joining the forces. These worthies don’t realise that they are committing
gullible girls to a life of hardships and social ridicule. By the time these
girls realise what they got into as a very young age, they will be imprisoned
in uniform for life and stuck in a life of loneliness.
Ladies have been in uniform in the Defence services for
almost two decades. These ladies have been fighting their own Services in
various courts for their promotion and terms of service. The Services have thus
had a kind of adversarial relationship with them. Secondly, the forces are so
busy that they don’t have time or will to think about the long term welfare of
their soldiers. Lots of male soldiers are facing marital discord cases these
days because of breakdown of the joint family system. Some of them commit
suicide for this reason. The same organisation has thus not bothered to carry
out a detailed study on the life of lady officers. Such a study could be a
guidepost for all girls keen to join the services.
It is the duty of Defence Services to put forth the
true picture of service and its impact on family life in the open. It is in
nobody’s interest, the girls, their parents, or their future spouses and even society
to consign girls to a lonely companionless life.
