MALE VS FEMALE AT ATM MACHINE
A NEW SIGN IN THE BANK LOBBY READS:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through
ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE
Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your
gender.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash
machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine
and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash
required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and
receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that
most of this is TRUE!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the
required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set hand brake, put the
window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all
contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone
you'll call back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card
into machine.
7. Open car door to allow
easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right
way.
10. Dig through handbag to
find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and
re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash
required.
14. Check makeup in rear
view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and
receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to
find wallet, place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in
check register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash
machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate
card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate
male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine
and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell
phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release hand brake.
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