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 UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

1. If Poison expires; is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

3. Do Twins ever realise that one of them is "Unplanned"?

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?

5. Is Oxygen slowly killing you just that it takes 75-100 years to fully work?

6. Every time you clean something, are you just make something else dirty?

7. Why is the word "swims" upside-down still "swims"?

8. Did you know that 100 years ago everyone owned a Horse and only the rich had Cars? And that today everyone has Cars and only the rich own Horses?

9. How is it that when you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them?

Some Great Confusions Which Are Still Unresolved:

1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

5. Ever wonder why the word "Funeral" starts with FUN?

6. Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

7. How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

8. If Money doesn't grow on Trees, how come Banks have Branches?

9. If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

10. How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

11. Why are goods sent by Ship called CARGO, and those sent by Truck SHIPMENT?

12. Why do we put cups in the "Dishwasher" and the dishes in the "Cupboard"?

13. Why do doctors "Practice" medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

14. Why is it called "Rush Hour" when traffic moves at its slowest then?

15. How come Noses run and Feet smell?

16. Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

17. What are you vacating when you go on a "Vacation"?

 PEARLS OF WISDOM

When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?  A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing...

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Despite the old saying, ' Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

Breasts are proof that men can focus on two things at a time.

 DECENCY RE-PUNNED

I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied, "That's not just any old lizard ... he's a stand-up chameleon."

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song but the chick peas can only hummus one.

Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court - it was a brief case.

How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it's on the house.

My friend said she wouldn't eat a cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth. I gave her an egg.

Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right ... Jack and the beans talk.

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.

Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right. The steaks were pretty high.