JAI HIND

 

 

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.

That was their scenario................

 

 

NOW  INDIA Vs PAKISTAN SCENARIO>>>>

 If there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India.

They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.  The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re- launch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.  The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately, there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.

In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere inflight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.

But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.

Human chains are formed and Rasta Rokos organised. In California …..and ………….Washington ,   endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government,   mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.  Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fish.

A missile (smuggled by Pakistan from USA) is pressed into service.   Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it therefore hits its original destination: Russia.

Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc.  Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits to Pakistan.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

Pakistan never gets it right.

And we live happily since!!!!

 

JAI HIND

FOR INDIAN CNG CONSUMERS

HOW MANY CYLINDERS OF COOKING GAS HAVE YOU CONSUMED?

Do you want to know how many LPG cylinders you have consumed till date in FY 2012-13 ?
a) Visit petroleum Ministry’s web site http://petroleum.nic.in/
b) You can see a small hotlink on its right side top panel, where the words “LPG Portal” keeps blinking.
c) Click on “LPG Portal” and it will open to a page that gives interactive cloud-blurbs like “Rate a Distributor”, “find multiple connections in the same name” etc., etc.,
d) In this screen, on the right side bottom portion, you can see logos that are linked to your own LPG supplier – Indane, Bharatgas and HP Gas.
e) This will lead you to “Transparency Portal” where you are required to give inputs like State, City and Distributor name details.
f) After clicking “Proceed” button, you can see next screen where you have to give your consumer number / your name for search.
g) Here, you can find out the No. of LPG cylinders issued under your consumer number in Financial Year 2012-2013.

As you are aware, you are eligible for 6 cylinders (now 9 cylinders) at concessional rate and any additional cylinder will be very costly. Plan your consumption to save a few hundred rupees.
Please send to as many people as you can. It will be helpful for them to claim their subsidised cylinders.

SELF PRESERVATION

The Bees at Shivpuri

What's Your First Thought When You & Your Family Are Suddenly Endangered?

            We have all grown up in families where, as children, we have been blessed with affection and showered with love, hugs and kisses. In the eyes of the parents, happiness of their children is paramount, perhaps the only thing that matters. We’ve all been told that we are always at the forefront of our parents’ minds. As parents, we’ve said much the same to our children and shown it to them by walking them safely across roads, coddled them when ill, sung lullabies or read out stories to get them to sleep. We’ve all read about occasions when a snake was seen right next to a toddler, who was in his own world of fancy and oblivious of his surroundings and how, as a parent, the mother put herself at danger and rescued her baby.

            Is this universally true? Your answer will invariably be, “Yes, of course. What a silly question?” I beg to differ. When faced with sudden danger, your first thought will be to save yourself. The key word is ‘sudden’. In the case of a snake and the baby, there was time to think. Let me prove my point with two examples.

In India, we have three-wheel vehicles called ‘rickshaws’, where the driver sits upfront and the rest, whether fare-paying passengers or families, sit on the rear seat.In this particular case, the father was driving and his wife and two kids were on the rear seat. A 10-tonne truck was approaching from the front, well within his lane and at a moderate speed. When about 10 metres short, the truck had a front left tyre burst and swivelled left. The father turned hard LEFT and heard the truck striking his auto. He was thrown out and escaped. Sadly, he lost one child, who was sitting on the rear right part of the seat. Had the father turned hard RIGHT, the entire rickshaw would have been sideswiped and  probably turned turtle. All would have been injured, but not grievously.

In the second case, I had taken my wife and two kids on a picnic to a village called Shivpuri. This spot was in a natural bowl-shaped depression, about 30 metres deep. I parked at the rim of the depression and we all went down comfortably. The rim was lined with trees and we were generally having a good time in the shade. My seven year old son was playing with his slingshot and aimed at a beehive. The swarm of bees came buzzing down and my son ran towards us. Before we knew, the swarm was upon us. My wife and I ran uphill for the safety of the car, leaving our son and two-year old daughter behind. I realised this when I was half-way up and heard my daughter screaming. Sanity prevailed as I ran down and yelled at my children to lie down and keep absolutely still. My wife was in the car by now and the bees went away on their own. All of us were badly bitten and needed medical treatment, with my kids detained in the Intensive Care Unit overnight. We haven’t yet lived that memory down-it torments us. Parents thinking about themselves before their small children!

I am aware that most of you out there will call us cowards. That is just not true. The desire for safety is so strong and deep-rooted in one’s mind that the first thought that comes to you when faced with sudden danger Is SELF-PRESERVATION. Always and every time.

Ready to Eat Food, Cheese and Bakery Products

READY TO EAT FOOD, CHEESE AND BAKERY PRODUCTS

The Indian Tobacco Company (ITC) entered the branded food market with the launch of Aashirvaad Atta in Jaipur and Chandigarh in 2002. The product is now available all over India. ITC uses the sourcing strength of its e-Choupals to buy directly from the farmers to deliver happiness to the Indian consumer 'Aashirvaad' promises the Indian housewife the joy of providing her family with the most delightful home-made rotis, made from the finest quality atta. ITC forayed into the branded spices market with the launch of Aashirvaad Spices in May 2005. The offering currently consists of Chilli, Turmeric and Coriander powder. Aashirvaad Meals is a range of ten of the most popular Indian dishes in a ready-to-eat format. This range endeavors to provide the consumer an experience of authentic, home-made food at an affordable price. These are 100% natural and have zero preservatives. One popular vegetarian meal is the Aashirvaad Ready Meals Rajma Masala. It serves three, best eaten as a side dish item. Many vegetarians like this meal. It is manufactured in a plant that processes only vegetarian foods. This meal is packaged in a foil pouch. It has kidney beans, tomatoes, onions, salt, ginger, spices, tomato paste and other ingredients. You can cook this dish in the microwave, heat it up in a skillet or even boil the pouch in boiling water.

Amul Cheese, made in Anand, Gujarat, comes in many varieties and quantities. Amul Pasteurised Processed Cheddar Cheese is made from cheese, sodium citrate, common salt, citric acid, permitted natural color - Annatto and uses emulsifier and class II preservatives. It is made from graded cow/buffalo milk using microbial rennet. Shelf life is 9 Months for cheese tins and cheese chiplets and 6 months for cheese blocks and cheese slices and can be stored as refrigerated at 4°C or below. Amul Emmental Cheese is made from soft cheese, cheddar cheese and common salt. Amul Emmental Cheese is available in a 400 gm pack for the comsumer and a large wheel (5.5 Kg) for institutional segments. This famous cheese with a Swiss taste owes its name to the Emmental valley, near Berne in Switzerland. The production of Cheese in Emmental valley can be traced to as far back as 1290 AD. One of the most striking features of Emmental is the `holes' or the `eyes', as they are popularly called. Amul Emmental Cheese has a sweet-dry flavour and hazelnut aroma. This cheese is normally available in the form of a wheel, having convex edges and is covered with a dry-hard rind which is golden-yellow in color. This rind is to be removed before consumption.

Britannia Industries Ltd is the manufacturer of Britannia Daily Fresh Bread. Britannia Daily Fresh Bread is available in 2 packs - the 400gm and the 800gm plain white sliced bread catering to a variety of taste to eat healthy and think better segments. The company manufactures buns as well. Britannia entered the cake market in 1963 and is the leading player in the market. Britannia Cakes range is scrumptious and has Bar Cakes, Chunk Cakes and Cup Cakes which were launched in 2005. Bar Cakes are available in variants that include Fruit, Butter Sponge, Chocolate, Pineapple, Milk, Vanilla Chocolate and Orange. Apart from being delicious, these snacks are packed with healthy ingredients making them wholesome & delightful. Britannia cup cakes come in vanilla and orange and mixed fruit flavors whereas chunk cakes come in fruit flavor. Britannia buns and cakes, along with its bread come recommended by many groceries.